Writing the Polish Diaspora
News and information for Polish Writers and Writers of the Polish Diaspora
Tuesday, August 24, 2021
Maria Czapska and Her Memoir of the Warsaw Uprising
Thursday, October 15, 2020
Pilot and Girl by Danuska Blaszek
Danuska Blaszek
Danuska Blaszek is a Polish poet who lives in the United States and Poland. Her poetry has appeared in numerous books and anthologies. Her English books Lily Equation and Mathematics vs. Poetry are both available on Amazon along with her Polish books.
Pilot and Girl
I asked Danuska Blaszek what inspired her to write the following poem. Here's what she said:
The series of poems "Pilot & Girl" was inspired by the group paralotnie.pl. I participated in one of the first paragliding courses in the 90s. Our emotional commitment was great. We were overwhelmed by the freedom to fly without medical tests, no fitness requirements, no age limits.
Krysiek Kaczynski -- my instructor, Rafal Maszczak -- the organizer of our internet meetings and Rysiek Lutoslawski, although I had never seen him on a paraglider, was our guru. Older than us, he about flying on Migs, about clouds ... Some phrases come from him and a story about a night flight in an autumn drizzle ... This is connected with the story of Marta Berowska, about her mother's friend who killed himself on a glider. But after reading the poems, Rysiek asked how I know that he had an accident ...
pilot and girl
I
you know Richard
I sometimes stand on the balcony
among white sheets smelling of soap
the sky beckons
and I don't know which to choose
wings or sails
the foam of clouds or the wave of lakes
I fear the allure of space
the magnetism of the sky
you know Danuska I've never been afraid of space,
though only fools are free from fear, they say
only once that uncontrollable fright
a night flight in a November drizzle
over a thick layer of clouds
smooth as a mirror
outer space, my love, without God or Earth
the stars down there and the sharp scream of the Moon
the sky below and above
I followed the instruments
they helped me survive
later, an old pilot told me
it so happens sometimes that the sky is reflected in the smooth surface of the clouds
as in a mirror
we've only written to each other
we've never met
I fear our meeting
my frightened eyes look back at me from the mirror
II.
you ask me Danuska why I smoke a hundred cigarettes a day
this is how it started
I was a child
they killed the Warsaw uprising and my sister and I
were separated from our parents in the Pruszkow camp
a kind soul took us away on a wagon filled with dead bodies
my sister and I ran as fast as we could
she was little, I not much older than her
we fell asleep cuddled
in a cargo car on a dead-end railroad in the woods
we woke up locked inside
listening to the heavy breathing of the train
trapped with no food or water
we were saved by bombs
we escaped through a hole in the roof
the locomotive breathed heavily in the ditch
I tried to earn money to buy food
a field cook found me
old Wasilenko fed me
I felt guilty
my sister died of starvation
the cook rolled my first cigarette
later in a flat taken over from a German
I played with a toy car
the cook along with other Bolsheviks died in the war
I learned how to smoke
III.
cumulus clouds, soft as the fleece of a lamb
haven't you ever wanted to stroke them?
to taste them as you would taste cotton candy?
and lie on them like on a duvet?
tell me, why do birds avoid clouds?
Danuska clouds can be dangerous
I'll tell you about it
It was sunny
cumulus clouds were resting in the sky
I was spinning up towards the sun up, up and up
higher and higher
suddenly I entered a cloud
it started swelling
it was sucking me up into the sky
I didn't want to go there
I didn't take oxygen
a cumulomnibus was born and inside it as in another world
hurricanes from the earth to the sky
I was carried by tornadoes
aerial frenzy of winds
I heard a sound
a wing broke away from the glider
I jumped out
I couldn't open the parachute
(don't do it inside a cloud,
the cloud will catch it like an umbrella and won't let you go down to the ground)
I was waiting until my eyes could see
something other than the graying milk of the cloud
the fear grew
does this cloud, like fog, reach the ground?
the fuselage of my glider went past me
I survived
I saw grass, trees
the orange canopy of my parachute bloomed above me
the sky was black now
tell me unknown pilot
you're not like cotton candy
I have to be careful like those birds
IV
I quit smoking
I don't want to think about it
I'm painting my room
you're saying Menet has died
one more friend gone
he still lives in my heart
we used to fly together
the charming times of pilots hooligans
we were flying over bridges and lakes
we were flying so low that the gust created by the propeller
overturned sailboats
we found that bridge in Liwiec
you know that little palace in Liwa
it was easy to escape the militia there
Menet was doing aerobatics
I managed to fly under that small bridge upside down
then Menet took our friend over Liwiec
he was a young lad but quite brash
later that youngster wanted to fly under the bridge by himself
he split up the two banks of the river
wrecked the plane
a major uproar
there were lots of flowers on his grave
and Menet and I were making new plans
fate separated us
you're asking what I'm doing
I'm painting my apartment
the walls have yellowed from the smoke
IV
warm and caring
as if straight from my dreams
not a stranger anymore
but not familiar yet
you run into the sky
right under the cumulus clouds
and say from there
I'll come back or I won't
so I call into the cloudy night
should I only be a girl
from swirling outer space?
I was flying a Mig
guided by orders into a cloud
the weather was nice
too nice to die
the cloud looked menacing
I radioed the tower
the artificial horizon was turning madly
I wasn't flying the plane
the wind was
it blew out the fire of the engine
fear once, fear twice
if I survive the third wave of fear
you'll be mine
I'll give you
the twisted skin of the plane
the pieces of the wings
the dislocated rivets
I put on my armour
I built a fortress around my heart
translated by Anna Sledziewska-Bolinska